Define Your Role

/

Super Mr.TramueL is back!

Don’t worry mere mortals … I use my powers for good not evil.

{{{Evil Voice Laugh}}} mwahahaha

Over the last three weeks there have been several missions that needed my impractical wisdumb so I dawned & sealed my protective mask, pulled up my tights, threw on my cape and flew in to save the day! Two friendgurlz situations immortalized in this post. No names were used (only pronouns) to protect the downtrodden.

Mission Improbable

Boy meets girl, boy & girl fall in love, boy & girl make plans to marry, boy & girl move in together … boy & girl now start to question a few things. They feel silly talking about “a few things” with others because they are so small in comparison with real sh*t men & women go through. But therein lies the problem, the small things can be such a HUGE drain emotionally. One wants kids the other doesn’t. One wants to buy a condo the other wants a house. One folds the towels in half the other in half, then in half again. Are you serious Mr.TramueL ... towels? Yes towels … Her: “My grandma taught me how to fold towels and that’s the way I’ve always done it.” Him: “Your grandma was wrong.” *Side note* When he woke up from “her” knockout blow he was asked did he know where he was, he replied “… at my mama’s house.”

If you are raised, grow up observing or taught to do things a certain way it becomes embedded in you, second nature and we tend not to challenge our thought process assuming that our outlook is shared by our significant other, especially after you’ve played with each other horizontally.

The learned behavior in men, whether taught or observed, is to be the head of the house and by that authority the woman should be submissive to his will. When that will is challenged he will seek other ways to gain what he perceives as control.

The “un”learned behavior in women, whether taught or observed, is that of independence and self reliance. When that independence is challenged or she is made to feel inferior she will tell everybody that will listen she will seek other ways to feel empowered.

“She” called to ask for help or rather needed confirmation that her point of view was correct. She believes that because she makes more money than her husband, she shouldn’t have to answer to him and that all decisions should run through her. “She” said everyone else responded with the “compromise” and “ya’ll should make decisions as a team” nonsense. Well I’m the referee and I’m throwing the flag … bullsh*t. Even on a team there is a coach that draws up the last play with instructions on how to win. Compromise, a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms, often involving variations from an original goal or desire … bullsh*t, someone always gets their way. What is the compromise between someone wanting children & someone not wanting children?

Someone has to lead; I don’t care who as long as its not about money, power or control. Have a conversation; connect emotion and intellect, look for thoughtfulness in love and be open to the other point of view.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Don’t be afraid to take the lead. Direction is needed – you may have to supply it. Strengthen your will to avoid indecision.

According to the Official Figures, 43% of All Statistics are Totally Worthless

/

The labor department reported 85,000 jobs were lost due to the economy in December. I also continue to see record high unemployment rates across the nation, the carve out of unemployed Negro males {'Negro' now a choice on census forms} is higher than any other demographic … Then I realized that I’m a statistic! I’ve heard elected officials and analyst refer to an acceptable level of unemployment. WTF? Really? An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

May 2010 will make two years for me without a comparable full-time job. I’m employed in a part-time capacity by the very company that laid me off or rather I was rehired, yep after seven years I was treated just like anyone else, background check and the whole nine.

WANTED: A Boss

While I’ve done a fair job at best of maintaining … Did I ever tell ya’ll how much I like using ellipsis? It is time to get back to the business of handling business. I know you’ve either heard or seen this from me “there is no such thing as job security anymore and there are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.” But damn! The entrepreneurial spirit isn’t taking off like I thought it would. A brotha’ got big dreams, BIG dreams and it doesn’t involve being filthy rich a weakness for money does not imply power but rather doing something that I enjoy, providing a service that people want and need, strengthening the community, now add the fact that I would be able to support myself … BIG bucks no whammies! A definite plus.

To everyone finding their way in this madness remember there is nothing permanent except change.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

☛ Tend to what needs fixing … don’t leave it all up to fate. Make decisions and act on them decisively.

☛ Dig in your heels. Don’t depend on your talent or take success for granted, hard work is always needed.

Forgiveness

/
Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It's your move.

Unknownname

{This was an Email FWD from a friend}

The Most Interesting Man In The World

/

"I don't always post but when I do I prefer WordPress." - Mr.TramueL™ Photobucket

I started posting to satisfy the voices in my head not to change the world, but what I found were a great group of writers, blogger's and personalities that have influenced me, challenged me or provoked a thought process and for that I'm most appreciative. Shout out to GI, Sunny D., Ms.Nikks ('cause I am nasty), Cyn, C.Black, Mase' & J.Shin.

This week I went back through my post and cleaned them up a bit; added pictures, cleaned up fonts where I could and er'thang. I noticed that there are topics that I enjoy & are a part of my daily life that are missing from here. There are post on my Posterous that are indicative of those passions, but even then only a few. So in my struggle to find the direction of  my space on WordPress  I've decided to do what I've always done, post about life's ironic twist & how they may sometimes startle us. I've also started a Photo blog that will include random photo's about nothing.

This year I will attempt to answer the following questions:

  • How often do you do laundry?
  • Clean the bathroom?
  • Floss your teeth?

Two Zero Dimes first Do As I Say, Not As I Do

  • Reconcile Passion & Intimacy.
  • Don't get carried away by Idealism.
  • Not everything has to be revealed.
  • Keep in touch with reality as well as fantasy.
  • Learn to handle disappointment.

That's my time. I'm at the Public Library 'pose to be studying but I'm talking to the voices in my head.

*Drops Mic. Pours accelerant on stage as I exit. Strikes match. Throws lit match over left shoulder. Stage erupts in flames. Crowd goes wild!*

Mr.TramueL's Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly:

/

The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

Photobucket

 

It must be snowing in the Souf'

Ol'e buying Bread & Crackers ass ninja's

Just a quick memo about being well prepared

/

I'm at work tonight and well this guy ... I hope he following my timeline on Twitter.

Keep things in perspective.

Don't let needs and wants get out of hand.

Ask what's in it for you.

Don't refuse help when it is offered.

Mr.TramueL™

- Sent from my Palm Pre

SPERM DONOR

/
122909_1604_spermdonor1.jpg

 

 

I had a visit with my old roommate; she was holding some mail for me at her place. Yes, I said she. I know you are wondering "Did Mr.TramueL smash?" well kids the answer is no, now stay focused & keep your minds out of the gutter. Although once or twice she did show up at my door butt naked talking bout' how she was so alone. We made small talk about the weather, the bank (we use to work together), my kids, the holidays, her family and then her "sperm donor." In a rather nonchalant way she proceeds to tell me that her biological father had passed. Given what I knew about their relationship the smirk on her face confused me, well maybe not. I mean we lived together for a little over a year so I thought I had her diagnosed as bipolar figured out, so her whole demeanor perplexed me. Being the intelligently hedonistic person that I am, I decided to probe a little further and ask how she really felt. She found out on Christmas day, an Aunt called her mom to let the family know. We got through my investigation without coming to blows, which is surprising, cause' at one point I was standing over her with the spotlight shining directly at her soul wanting her to break down and cry for this man who cared so little about her life. I went hard! *Pause. End Scene*

I sit down on the couch, she didn't break. I thought she was using the smirk as some type of inner defense mechanism to block her true pain, but I don't believe she felt any kinda way. Why was I so obsessed? Unlike her my "sperm donor" {Those are her choice words} I like to refer to him as "the punk ass mofo who impregnated my mother and didn't give a flying eff about anyone but himself selfish ass bastard" but that's too long so we will use "sperm donor" … *Clears Throat* Unlike her if I passed my sperm donor on the street I wouldn't know it was him, unlike her I don't know if I have any brothers or sisters fathered by him, unlike her I never knew where he lived. Unlike her I never had an opportunity to converse {Is conversate a word?} with him.

Women whom I've been involved with seem to think that this missing piece of my life is somehow hindering or holding me back from really committing to someone {That's a whole notha' post} and I often wonder if I use some type of inner defense mechanism to make me believe that I don't care. Like her I really don't care, if someone told me he passed I wouldn't feel anything. My mother married when I was five, I have a wonderful step-father that has been and is still a positive influence in my life. So we stole we didn't get stole on.

I could go on but …

Do As I Say Not As I Do

✍ Be more realistic about yourself.

✍ Beware of negative expectations.

✍ Slowly build a solid base of self-confidence.

✍ Accept your fate.

Play-Acting

/

Jaded cynical attitudes can be deadening.

I ran into an acquaintance from high-school a few days back. Notice I wrote “acquaintance” … notice I wrote “High-School”.

I’ve been away from high-school for a minute, to give you an idea how long that’s been, my transcript reads “Gender: Male Race: Negro”

{Stepping Away for a Minute}

In school I was reserved, not shy or an introvert but more selective about whom I gave the business to socialize with. I was an average athlete good at most but never excelled. My theory on the self-reliance and independence is associated with growing up in a house that was one of two houses on a block where the only other structure was a church. I believe you are a product of your environment and I am just like the house I grew up in self-sustained and independent.

{Now I’m Back}

Of Mr. Play Actor and others who seem to hold onto their “self-proclaimed” glory days and awareness that all the world is a stage, fully embracing the various opportunities for role-playing. People with low self-esteem are caught in powerful emotional beliefs about themselves. No I didn’t make the varsity basketball team; No I’m not still in a marching band; no I’m not still dating Halle Berry. Man that was years ago. However, Mr.TramueL™ see’s through your mask. These things are all said in an effort to BIG you up. The conversation never progresses past sh*t that we used to do and I keep getting pulled back to the future … Me: “Oh, that’s great man, the little dance group didn’t work out for you? That’s okay cause’ you’re the night manager at McDonald's now huh? That’s good, real good.” People with low self-esteem often look desperately for evidence that they're good. You don’t have to put others down to bring yourself up.

“Welcome to McDonalds may I take your order please?” Yes, I would like for you to have the rewards of self-knowledge.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

☛ Beware of competition and jealousies.

☛ Don’t hold on to your pain.

☛ Drop the mask.

Humor Abounding

/

Untitled

I get myself into trouble sometimes because I use humor, sarcasm and witty snap backs usually to express some critical comment. My bio is true ...

"Sometimes nit-picky & critical, “secretly” feeling he handles matters better than others" 

How ironic.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Know When To Be Serious And When To Let Up

Don’t Let Teasing Get Out Of Hand

Beware Of Third-Party Rivalries

Act With Consideration To All

Barbershop Philosophy

/


Another morning in the Barber Shop.

For as long as I can remember the neighborhood barber shop has been a community gathering place. People who visit for a haircut also have the benefit of the in-between talks during the hair cutting sessions. What I like to call "Barbershop Philosophy". The rational inquiry into the principles and truths of being, nature, knowledge, conduct, etc. of course from the black perspective.


THE BARBERS

The Owner / Barber

Wouldn't know it to look at him but this guy is filthy! As in filthy rich. Nice house owns a small real estate firm, summer house & used auto-dealership in Jamaica. They say you are a product of your environment … well he has a lil' bit of each of the barbers, characters and customers rolled up in his personality. The owner is very nice with the clippers, to him haircutting is an art and has to be mastered like any other profession. Once you rise up from the chair you feel as if your personality has been polished. You stand a lil' taller and speak a lil' louder.

The Reverend

Never has any customers but prominently post his shop hours. He also runs auto-parts for Napa. {Note to Rev this sign is 10 years old}

The Homey

"Ayo! What's up son?" Better city in America? According to Homey … not fucking likely. That's right Homey is from NYC the transplant that cut hair out of his home for 10 years came down south to school these country ninjas in the art of barbering. Took him 3 years to get licensed but Ayo son! … He did it his way.

The First Chair

Fresh out of Clown Barber College, he ends up with the walk-ins and the small kids. He's nice with the clippers, although I did see him patch a dude up once. {Keep practicing on those small kids}

THE CHARACTERS

The Coach

No one knows what he actually coaches, he has on the gear, looks the part and he just stops by in between practices (which happen to be year round). You can't leave without hearing one of his motivational quotes. "Big B, listen my man before you go … If everything seems to be going well, you obviously do not know what the hell is going on."

The Retiree

Yep, meet Mr. Me Too. He will not be outdone. You've run with the bulls in Spain? Well he's run butt naked with the lions in the Serengeti. Forgot a little piece of the city's history? It's okay; he remembers the city when it was just a dirt road.

The Hustle Man

You never see him actually in the chair, but his hair is always cut. Not your average "hustler" he's not about the illegal acts, but about anything that will make him money. He'll shampoo your carpet if you rent the machine, pick him up and drop him off at the barber shop when he's through. His favorite line … "I know a guy" and he will invent a word for anything*

The Player: "What's up fam!? Man, I just lost a hubcap" {Did this ninja say hubcap? Where tha' 22's at playboy?}

Hustle Man: "I know a guy that can get you 4 brand new capo's* for the cost of one." {What the eff' is a capo?}

The Player

This guy. Always looking in the mirror at himself before, after & during his cut. The thought bubble above his head reads ..."Man I'm so attractive" He actually believes any woman would be blown away if they sat down and had a chat and got to know him.

THE CUSTOMERS

The Soccer Dad

So busy with family stuff, I mean if he could just clone himself life would be grand. "I gotta get outta here ya'll lil' Nathaniel William Edward Burghardt Du Bois III has T-Ball practice and I have choir practice at the church.

The Gay Guy

You never know he's in the shop cause his head is buried in his iPhone. I always admire what he has on, great style ~ {No Homo} & Ohhh Mmm Gee the whip! CLS5500! When he's done & drives that thang' *Pause* out of the parking lot all heads *Supa Pause* turn and this normally starts the discussion on cars.

The Educated Brotha' From the Bank

Comes in on his lunch break with the same bullisht every time. "How many I got in front of me?" Like his life is much more important than ours. Hustle Man likes to eff with him.

Hustle Man: "Ayo Educated Brotha' From the bank? You work for Bank of America right? What branch do you work at?"

Educated Brotha' From the Bank: "I've told you that I work in Commercial Mortgage Backed Securities not at any of the retail branches."

Hustle Man: "My bad, let me get a loan then?" {Shop erupts in laughter}

The Female

Comes in to get her eyebrows arched and neckline shaped. I think she's crushing on homey.

THE DISCUSSION TOPICS

Sports

Conversations about home town heroes like Chris Leak and why none of the NFL teams picked him up. The Bobcats, The Panthers, Independence High football dominance. Everyone in the shop is a Sports Analyst giving their take. The sports conversation is generally tame but it is without fail. "Well you know he dating that white girl" … which takes us into the next discussion topic

Women / Sex / Marriage / Relationships

This topic brings out the comedians.

On Women

Physical Properties: Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.

Chemical Properties: Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses: Very effective cleaning agent.

Hazards: Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

Religion

No arguments or heated discussions here, faith is respected in the shop, where the conversation lives is the "service" of the church and the role it plays in the community concerning; drugs, homelessness, outreach and youth services. Always surprised at how well folk know the Bible or Qur'an. The interpretation is where it gets lost. The most revisited topic tithing; if you should at all, what the bible says, ten percent before or after taxes? {Never ending debate. I've been going there for 10 years & this never gets old to us.}

Politics

Currently "we on that" Health Care debate. Always on topic … What's missing from the debate, which has the better philosophy and is Michelle & Barack breaking in every room in the White House.

Cars

The Charlotte International Auto Show was last week and "we on that" Porsche Panamera



This list is not even close to half of the characters, personalities and topics discussed in the Barbershop. I didn't mention the fish fry lady or the bootleg music and dvd hustlers. They are out there in yo' shop!

Who are some of the characters at your shop & what they be philosophizing bout'?

Check out this video directed by Nelson George A Barber's Tale