Push Me, Pull You

Push Me, Pull You

Beware of running away from problems.

After a textersation {I just coined this phrase … conversation through texting} with a good friend I’ve realized that I believe I know what other people want, but don’t really know what I need.  My unspoken admiration for the folk that keep me grounded, sane & motivated is the reason for this post. They are a part of my life; some new, some old, some share my blood, some don’t, all-in-all  they all are a part of my family, immediate and extended.

I shine when I serve others in some way and  what I get back in return is far more beneficial to me than any 1ne of them can imagine. They bring me closer to capital {G}od’izzle, by desiring a closer relationship with HIM. They make me want to know more, thus inspiring me to read more & research more. They have taught me to be more honest. {Ya’ll know T!his is a struggle cause I enjoy story-telling and sometimes enjoy bending the truth} They inspire me to be a better father, brother, son & man. Last but not least, they’ve taught me to straighten out confusion or nothing will get done. I have some huge  stones chasing me that I’ve now begun to face and stop running from.

I take in so much from my environment; T!his is one of the reasons why I tend to be indecisive, swinging between irrational and rational thoughts and feelings. It's pretty much something that takes place "upstairs" in my mind, although others are sure to see the struggle from time to time.  I also have a tendency to misrepresent myself with what I say from time to time, but Mr.TramueL is a charming, if a little kooky, friend, father, brother, son & man.

Continue to Push Me & I’ll continue to Pull You.

In Gratitude,

You Want Me To Be Honest?

“ You Can’t handle the Truth! “

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipPJwvSzInI]

The other night one of my many twiends re-tweeted a tweet from one of their tweeps. {Say that real fast while hanging from a spinning chandelier} … anyway it stated that 1ne  of the most important ways to make a four letter word beginning with L and ending in E {Love} work is learning how to communicate the complete truth ...

I have a mom, two sisters, three baby mamas, an ex-wife, a side chick, a “she” and a plethora of female friends who sit on my couch so I feel it’s okay for me to impart my impractical wisdumb on this topic.

“There are no whole truths: all truths are half-truths. It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil.” - Alfred North Whitehead

Science

There is no science. The problem starts with definitions. In order to maintain our self-image as unselfish and honest, we seem to have special definitions that help disguise the true state of affairs … of course, we are all honest. We just leave out a few facts, but we never lie! We would feel very uncomfortable with a definition of truth that disallows this type of behavior.

Folk will retort that the truth is often near impossible to define. And, that the whole truth can never be said. Indeed.

Situation

Any. But let’s take something as simple or as complex, depending on your perspective, as telling your significant other that you actually had 30 sexual partners before them. If your partner told you such a truth after first having told the untruth, how would you react? If your partner told you such a truth, without ever having told the untruth, how would you react? Would you insist that your partner answer such a question to you? Would you want to hear the truth or would you rather not know? Would you want him/her to lie to you?How would you estimate the chance that she/he will find out the lie? How BIG a lie do you think this is if you did it? if a partner did it?

Summary

Communicate the complete truth? Nah kid … Men & Women use dishonesty to enhance those features that are most desired by the opposite sex. Men, for example, lie about commitment, honesty and resources.

What do people really mean by honesty in a partner? That we tell the truth about our flabby bellies? Or that we tell the truth about our desire for our boo’s friend?

Can you be completely honest with each other? Something doesn’t make sense.

PLMC Hickory Grove Library | Charlotte, NC

New Hickory Grove Library
Grand Opening ... Start Date Zero Two Zero Six Two Thousand Ten

See the full gallery on Posterous

The BIGGEST snow storm to hit the Carolinas in twenty years! {Sarcasm}

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Define Your Role

Super Mr.TramueL is back!

Don’t worry mere mortals … I use my powers for good not evil.

{{{Evil Voice Laugh}}} mwahahaha

Over the last three weeks there have been several missions that needed my impractical wisdumb so I dawned & sealed my protective mask, pulled up my tights, threw on my cape and flew in to save the day! Two friendgurlz situations immortalized in this post. No names were used (only pronouns) to protect the downtrodden.

Mission Improbable

Boy meets girl, boy & girl fall in love, boy & girl make plans to marry, boy & girl move in together … boy & girl now start to question a few things. They feel silly talking about “a few things” with others because they are so small in comparison with real sh*t men & women go through. But therein lies the problem, the small things can be such a HUGE drain emotionally. One wants kids the other doesn’t. One wants to buy a condo the other wants a house. One folds the towels in half the other in half, then in half again. Are you serious Mr.TramueL ... towels? Yes towels … Her: “My grandma taught me how to fold towels and that’s the way I’ve always done it.” Him: “Your grandma was wrong.” *Side note* When he woke up from “her” knockout blow he was asked did he know where he was, he replied “… at my mama’s house.”

If you are raised, grow up observing or taught to do things a certain way it becomes embedded in you, second nature and we tend not to challenge our thought process assuming that our outlook is shared by our significant other, especially after you’ve played with each other horizontally.

The learned behavior in men, whether taught or observed, is to be the head of the house and by that authority the woman should be submissive to his will. When that will is challenged he will seek other ways to gain what he perceives as control.

The “un”learned behavior in women, whether taught or observed, is that of independence and self reliance. When that independence is challenged or she is made to feel inferior she will tell everybody that will listen she will seek other ways to feel empowered.

“She” called to ask for help or rather needed confirmation that her point of view was correct. She believes that because she makes more money than her husband, she shouldn’t have to answer to him and that all decisions should run through her. “She” said everyone else responded with the “compromise” and “ya’ll should make decisions as a team” nonsense. Well I’m the referee and I’m throwing the flag … bullsh*t. Even on a team there is a coach that draws up the last play with instructions on how to win. Compromise, a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms, often involving variations from an original goal or desire … bullsh*t, someone always gets their way. What is the compromise between someone wanting children & someone not wanting children?

Someone has to lead; I don’t care who as long as its not about money, power or control. Have a conversation; connect emotion and intellect, look for thoughtfulness in love and be open to the other point of view.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

Don’t be afraid to take the lead. Direction is needed – you may have to supply it. Strengthen your will to avoid indecision.

Independence of Action

Fear of losing independence may actually be fear of getting close

Be as honest as possible.

Don't take too much for granted.

Try harder not to hang on too tight.

Reaching the Top

Don't blow your own horn. ((Pause))

Conceit can undercut your efforts.

Go about your work quietly & modestly ... results speak for themselves.

According to the Official Figures, 43% of All Statistics are Totally Worthless

The labor department reported 85,000 jobs were lost due to the economy in December. I also continue to see record high unemployment rates across the nation, the carve out of unemployed Negro males {'Negro' now a choice on census forms} is higher than any other demographic … Then I realized that I’m a statistic! I’ve heard elected officials and analyst refer to an acceptable level of unemployment. WTF? Really? An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

May 2010 will make two years for me without a comparable full-time job. I’m employed in a part-time capacity by the very company that laid me off or rather I was rehired, yep after seven years I was treated just like anyone else, background check and the whole nine.

WANTED: A Boss

While I’ve done a fair job at best of maintaining … Did I ever tell ya’ll how much I like using ellipsis? It is time to get back to the business of handling business. I know you’ve either heard or seen this from me “there is no such thing as job security anymore and there are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.” But damn! The entrepreneurial spirit isn’t taking off like I thought it would. A brotha’ got big dreams, BIG dreams and it doesn’t involve being filthy rich a weakness for money does not imply power but rather doing something that I enjoy, providing a service that people want and need, strengthening the community, now add the fact that I would be able to support myself … BIG bucks no whammies! A definite plus.

To everyone finding their way in this madness remember there is nothing permanent except change.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

☛ Tend to what needs fixing … don’t leave it all up to fate. Make decisions and act on them decisively.

☛ Dig in your heels. Don’t depend on your talent or take success for granted, hard work is always needed.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It's your move.

{This was an Email FWD from a friend}

The Most Interesting Man In The World

"I don't always post but when I do I prefer WordPress." - Mr.TramueL™

I started posting to satisfy the voices in my head not to change the world, but what I found were a great group of writers, blogger's and personalities that have influenced me, challenged me or provoked a thought process and for that I'm most appreciative. Shout out to GI, Sunny D., Ms.Nikks ('cause I am nasty), Cyn, C.Black, Mase' & J.Shin.

This week I went back through my post and cleaned them up a bit; added pictures, cleaned up fonts where I could and er'thang. I noticed that there are topics that I enjoy & are a part of my daily life that are missing from here. There are post on my Posterous that are indicative of those passions, but even then only a few. So in my struggle to find the direction of  my space on WordPress  I've decided to do what I've always done, post about life's ironic twist & how they may sometimes startle us. I've also started a Photo blog that will include random photo's about nothing.

This year I will attempt to answer the following questions:

• How often do you do laundry?
• Clean the bathroom?
• Floss your teeth?

Two Zero Dimes first Do As I Say, Not As I Do

• Reconcile Passion & Intimacy.
• Don't get carried away by Idealism.
• Not everything has to be revealed.
• Keep in touch with reality as well as fantasy.
• Learn to handle disappointment.

That's my time. I'm at the Public Library 'pose to be studying but I'm talking to the voices in my head.

*Drops Mic. Pours accelerant on stage as I exit. Strikes match. Throws lit match over left shoulder. Stage erupts in flames. Crowd goes wild!*

Mr.TramueL's Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly:

The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

It must be snowing in the Souf'

Ol'e buying Bread & Crackers ass ninja's

Throw'd TV: For the Love of Jay J Pt.1 (S02: E03)

via rowdyorbit.com

Pulling The Strings

What makes you the decision maker? Puppet Master ~

You could be wrong.

Be open to contrary points of view.

Don't wear blinders.

Keep your peripheral vision active.

Answers create questions

Just a quick memo about being well prepared

I'm at work tonight and well this guy ... I hope he following my timeline on Twitter.

Keep things in perspective.

Don't let needs and wants get out of hand.

Ask what's in it for you.

Don't refuse help when it is offered.

Mr.TramueL™

- Sent from my Palm Pre

SPERM DONOR

I had a visit with my old roommate; she was holding some mail for me at her place. Yes, I said she. I know you are wondering "Did Mr.TramueL smash?" well kids the answer is no, now stay focused & keep your minds out of the gutter. Although once or twice she did show up at my door butt naked talking bout' how she was so alone. We made small talk about the weather, the bank (we use to work together), my kids, the holidays, her family and then her "sperm donor." In a rather nonchalant way she proceeds to tell me that her biological father had passed. Given what I knew about their relationship the smirk on her face confused me, well maybe not. I mean we lived together for a little over a year so I thought I had her diagnosed as bipolar figured out, so her whole demeanor perplexed me. Being the intelligently hedonistic person that I am, I decided to probe a little further and ask how she really felt. She found out on Christmas day, an Aunt called her mom to let the family know. We got through my investigation without coming to blows, which is surprising, cause' at one point I was standing over her with the spotlight shining directly at her soul wanting her to break down and cry for this man who cared so little about her life. I went hard! *Pause. End Scene*

I sit down on the couch, she didn't break. I thought she was using the smirk as some type of inner defense mechanism to block her true pain, but I don't believe she felt any kinda way. Why was I so obsessed? Unlike her my "sperm donor" {Those are her choice words} I like to refer to him as "the punk ass mofo who impregnated my mother and didn't give a flying eff about anyone but himself selfish ass bastard" but that's too long so we will use "sperm donor" … *Clears Throat* Unlike her if I passed my sperm donor on the street I wouldn't know it was him, unlike her I don't know if I have any brothers or sisters fathered by him, unlike her I never knew where he lived. Unlike her I never had an opportunity to converse {Is conversate a word?} with him.

Women whom I've been involved with seem to think that this missing piece of my life is somehow hindering or holding me back from really committing to someone {That's a whole notha' post} and I often wonder if I use some type of inner defense mechanism to make me believe that I don't care. Like her I really don't care, if someone told me he passed I wouldn't feel anything. My mother married when I was five, I have a wonderful step-father that has been and is still a positive influence in my life. So we stole we didn't get stole on.

I could go on but …

Do As I Say Not As I Do

✍ Be more realistic about yourself.

✍ Beware of negative expectations.

✍ Slowly build a solid base of self-confidence.

✍ Accept your fate.

Mr.TramueL™'s Admonition

Never bestow profanity upon a driver who has wronged you. If you think his window is closed and he can't hear you, it isn't and he can.

Ambiguos Fog

As close as you are, you may still not truly understand each other.

Just A Quick Memo

Style Over Substance

Your style is great ... Beef up your substance.

Don't get carried away by illusion.

Stick to your word. Remember that others depend on you. 

Play-Acting

Jaded cynical attitudes can be deadening.

I ran into an acquaintance from high-school a few days back. Notice I wrote “acquaintance” … notice I wrote “High-School”.

I’ve been away from high-school for a minute, to give you an idea how long that’s been, my transcript reads “Gender: Male Race: Negro”

{Stepping Away for a Minute}

In school I was reserved, not shy or an introvert but more selective about whom I gave the business to socialize with. I was an average athlete good at most but never excelled. My theory on the self-reliance and independence is associated with growing up in a house that was one of two houses on a block where the only other structure was a church. I believe you are a product of your environment and I am just like the house I grew up in self-sustained and independent.

{Now I’m Back}

Of Mr. Play Actor and others who seem to hold onto their “self-proclaimed” glory days and awareness that all the world is a stage, fully embracing the various opportunities for role-playing. People with low self-esteem are caught in powerful emotional beliefs about themselves. No I didn’t make the varsity basketball team; No I’m not still in a marching band; no I’m not still dating Halle Berry. Man that was years ago. However, Mr.TramueL™ see’s through your mask. These things are all said in an effort to BIG you up. The conversation never progresses past sh*t that we used to do and I keep getting pulled back to the future … Me: “Oh, that’s great man, the little dance group didn’t work out for you? That’s okay cause’ you’re the night manager at McDonald's now huh? That’s good, real good.” People with low self-esteem often look desperately for evidence that they're good. You don’t have to put others down to bring yourself up.

“Welcome to McDonalds may I take your order please?” Yes, I would like for you to have the rewards of self-knowledge.

Do As I Say Not As I Do

☛ Beware of competition and jealousies.

☛ Don’t hold on to your pain.

☛ Drop the mask.

Who are you?

Find out who you really are and accept this person. What else can you do? (Don't answer that, it was rhetorical)

Now you can build your relationships on a solid foundation.

... and they lived happily ever after. The End