What Remains: Cynthia
/The tree doesn’t know why I pour coffee at its base. Its branches lean over my mother’s grave. Coffee was her Sunday morning drink. After her Saturday evening wine.
“Don’t break my heart, boy.”
Read MoreThe tree doesn’t know why I pour coffee at its base. Its branches lean over my mother’s grave. Coffee was her Sunday morning drink. After her Saturday evening wine.
“Don’t break my heart, boy.”
Read MoreThis gift of extra days stretched wide and warm, full of stillness, movement, and the women who shape my world. The kind of company that asks for nothing but your presence. I started Friday by honoring my commitment to the YMCA, a place that's become more than work since I began there in November, but a community of familiar faces and shared purpose. My 10 AM finish gave me the perfect window for the three-hour journey to Snellville and my waiting family. They’re vegetarians and lovers of good food—we’ve always shared that language. They prepared a beautiful meal, and we broke bread with gratitude and laughter.
Read MoreDeath and Loss: The Weight of Remembrance
The two-year remembrance of my mother brings the weight of grief back into sharp focus, but this time it feels layered with the pain of others around me. Witnessing my co-worker and close friend endure their own losses has deepened my reflections on death. Their grief reminds me of the universality of sorrow, yet each person’s experience is so uniquely personal. As I support them, I find my own grief taking on new dimensions, teaching me not just about the fragility of life but also the importance of remembrance as a way to honor both the loss and the lessons left behind by those we loved.
Read MoreI like things in their place, I'm not a neat freak per se but I do like things neat, organized, and in good order – Fastidious.
The word fastidious traces to the Latin noun fastidium, meaning "aversion" or "disgust." Fastidium itself is probably a combination of the Latin words fastus, meaning "arrogance," and taedium, meaning "irksomeness" or "disgust." Shout out to my HS Latin teacher Shirley Wingo.
Read MoreWe can’t take care of others of we don’t take care of ourselves; in a relationship, a family or a friendship — A supreme challenge of life is reconciling the longing to fulfill ourselves in union, in partnership, and in love. Writing helps me reconcile that longing. I open my space to others to express themselves, to carve out a little time to say their ‘peace’
AS Esq.,
Last time I submitted a piece; I was counting down to 39! Oh how my days have changed! …
Read MoreI had a friend check in with me this week. We spoke about (me) having a good week and hitting all my ‘metrics’ — Meditation, prayer, exercise, reading, water, sleep and I checked in/checked on some folks while minding my business. They in turn discussed the challenges they faced and asked how I outwardly manage to hold things together.
I am hopeful, despite my circumstances, because I choose to be happy.
Read MoreI did things kind of late in life but it seemed like the timeline was only in my head.
When I moved to Washington, D.C. to start grad school at 27, I looked at my cohort of 23 and 24 year olds and thought “ya’ll some babies!!” I had a whole career before going back for another degree but being on the cusp of 30 was making me feel like I had more life experience, more maturity and more to lose when it came to doing well in my program. Failure wasn't an option.
Read More“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven”
— Ecclesiastes 3:1
You can log on to Twitter on any given Friday night and see a multitude of tweets about being “washed” on a Friday night. One day a couple of months back, I saw a tweet by a 40+ year old man admonishing his peers to stop being “boring” and “washed”. His logic was that we’re at the age where we can afford to travel, enjoy a night at the lounge and participate in other new experiences. He took issue with his peers being content with “just chillin’ in the house.” For what it’s worth, this guy is unmarried and childless. While I slightly agree with him, I’d like to offer a more balanced perspective.
Read MoreSo, Tram asked us to decide on a topic that described what we felt was society’s expectations of us, as we got to our Big Ages! However, not being one to allow society to dictate aspects of my life, I decided to write something a little bit… different. I don't quite recall my thought process 11 years ago when I first wrote for this series. But what I do know is that I did have expectations of what my life may look like, over a decade from then! As I maneuvered through life over those many, many years, a lot has changed. I've done things, seen things, and been through things that I definitely did not expect! I've discovered parts of me, and parts of my personality, that I didn't even know were there!
Read MoreI wish someone would have told me that adulting is complete BS. I would love to go back to high school days, or even my college years, where I had no responsibilities, was broke as hell, but yet still managed to travel, enjoy fine dining, and just have more free time to enjoy life. I am currently in my early 30s, SINGLE AF and FNF, and just getting started in my field of study, and when I say I have no life. I LITERALLY have no life. When I’m not at work, I’m at home, mainly sleeping or catching up on my “programs” like the old lady I am, and when I’m not home I’m working my ass off only to be living paycheck to paycheck…
Read MoreLIFE CHANGES,
As Do Titles and Roles
As a single, motherless woman in the prime of life, with 19 nieces & nephews, and 8 grand-nieces & nephews – there’s a role that I have grown into amongst my Calvo Clan – that of “Auntie Nicci, The Cool Aunt”.
Trust me when I tell you that I never took myself for the one person that all my siblings’ children gravitate toward. To be frank, I’m not particularly nurturing or motherly or sweet, but for whatever reason these younger generations ask frequently to sleepover or hangout or have a bbq or have poker nights at my house at least twice a month.
Read MoreSomeone asked me the other day if I were happy. In context I understand why. In a social media world of happiness theater, competition on happiness and not real happiness, but who could display it best online. I believe they genuinely wanted to know. especially seeing the changes in my life in real time over the past two years.
“Saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy”
Read MoreThere was a central theme in September for all five relationship categories; love, marriage, friendship, family, work.
Read MoreToday’s Challenge
Write down a list of what you’re grateful for this year, and take a moment to feel lucky for what you have…
Read More“There is both pleasure and penalty, both promising possibility and punishment for choosing to live an unscripted life.”
Read MoreThis weekend there were three fantastic moments where time seemingly stood still, allowing me to store them into a mental rolodex.
The Harvey B. Gant Center opened four new exhibitions over the weekend. I know, but I am unable to communicate why art fills us with emotion, I’ve tried to explain but apparently I’ve said it badly.
Read More♬ Came from the hood, ain’t nothing changed/ Still lemon pepper on my motherf*ckin’ wings
Last Monday night was stressful for about twenty-five minutes.
& by stressful I mean annoying.
Lettuce' start with calling Mrs. TramueL before leaving work. I'm leaving later than normal (which is already later than most) I also have to catch a later bus.
Read MoreMy mother has a great influence on our family, immediate and extended…
Read MoreAlthough he is not my biological dad, he is the only father I’ve known since the age of five. He stepped-in, so I took the step out ...
Improve relationships, healthy living, write more, read more (less television), increase income, increase savings, find ways to stay in love, practice humility (intellectually, socially and emotionally), get organized (in general, but also finances, insurance & other important records), smile & laugh more, grow spiritually and meditate.
My “better thinking” goals are just aspects, some of the parts that make up the whole of 2015. Growth and life’s lessons are (were) a consistent theme.
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