Forty One Years To Life ... Inspired Enigma

"Aging is inevitable and I'm a work in progress. Some days a masterpiece; other days a disaster."- Enigma

Inspired Enigma

Forty One Years To Life ... Jennifer

Coming of Age: Welcome to Adulthood

November of 2005 my parents and friends celebrated my birthday with a big party. As we celebrated the beginning of a year in my life I could only imagine what I had coming. I was in my second year community college and I knew in my heart it was time to get out and start my adult life and go off to a university.

So after the holidays I started pushing towards what I wanted my next big move to be. Since I knew that I wanted to study journalism and stay in state I started to look for colleges that met those requirements. I soon found the university I wanted to attend, and while it was four hours away from home I knew that I had found my new home.

Several months later, after applying and getting accepted I was moving into my dorm room. The experience was surreal to see moves that once made up my room now in a dorm room and watching my parents drive off without me. At that moment it hit me that I was alone and had to depend on myself.

Before I knew it November was here again. As I looked back at my past year I was amazed at my growth and how far I’d come. Slowly I was able to find my place in the world as an adult. I could stand on my own two feet and with that I found my strength.

me

MOADlogo_Web150x179

Forty One Years To Life ... Citizen Ojo

Invisible-Man-780294

I truly miss my undergraduate college years. Looking back on my life I believe those were my greatest years of potential. I know people will say "What about your life now? You have a lovely wife and a beautiful son. Shouldn't your life be great now"? I truly love my family and I am grateful for the life I have. But my college years were really great years. The problem was that I didn't know they were at the time. Those years were filled with so much promise and the future was wide open. Please don't get me wrong!! Everything was not picture perfect. I made a lot of missteps and missed a lot of opportunities. The college years were the beginning of adulthood. It was a time of reinvention and self exploration. I was coming into my own and was figuring out who I really was. My only regret was some of the decisions that I made. Because in my old age, I learned an important lesson. What you do in your past can effect your future.

Forty One Years To Life ... J. Francis

Coming of Age

To get older, to mature, to gain wisdom, to survive….With the passing of time many of these things and more can take place. I know for me they have. Some specific ages came with goals automatically attached to them. At 15 start working. My first job was a ride operator at Playland. At 16 legally drive. My first car was a Hyundai Excel 89’. At 18 I hit the stores to cop Philly blunts for the crew and at 21 I had legally purchased my $21 bottle of Bacardi Limon. It’s fun to think back on but in that jumble of young antics; by the grace of god I avoided other age associations. Incarcerated youth, High School Drop Out, “Baby Daddy”…..all those pitfalls of the American black man I avoided during my 20’s. And believe me I was hella close to a couple of those situations.

Now with age I see purpose, legacy, meaning in movement. What do I stand for? The truest values of life now run through my head as I navigate the current storm of change that is this nation. As time flies by we put more candles on the birthday cake. Perception changes every year, so what are you wishing for before you blow out your candles?

J. Francis

He Wrote, She Wrote ... The Human Brain

"For me there are few things more beautiful in the universe than the human brain. Unlike any other organ in the body, our brain is the essence of what makes us human, our memories, our thoughts, our personalities - one hundred billion nerve cells, working in absolute harmony to allow us to see, to smell, to move, to understand, and to create." Keith Black, MD

Brain Surgeon

Forty One Years To Life ... W. Tisdale

It's amazing how time can teach you if you (the student) is willing and open. For example, when I was 19, I used to think 35 was OLD. Now at 41, I think Tina Turner and Sidney Poitier are awesome. I used to think if I earned $50,000 I'd be rich as hell, then I reached that milestone and the folks at Discover Card wouldn't leave me alone. Today when I think of all of who have left this earth too soon, I think of aging as a gift. To the high school dropout, I say aging is a gift that teaches if you are willing to learn. To the addict, I say aging is a helluva high that requires discipline. But to all who let life pass them by without truly enjoying the day, the hour, the moment, I say time never rewinds and aging well means you never have to.- Walker Tisdale

W. Tisdale

Forty One Years To Life ... W. Stylez

I EMBRACE MY AGE

Part 1 of 5 in a series on AGE by Willie Stylez

Definition of AGE (according to Merriam-Webster)

1. the time of life at which some particular qualification, power, or capacity arises or rests ; specifically : majority

2. one of the stages of life

3. the length of an existence extending from the beginning to any given time

4. lifetime

5. an advanced stage of life

Age is such a relative term! I am AT AN AGE where I feel wise, humble, tolerant and successful. But MY AGE is an ever increasing number; technically I get older minute-by-minute, day-by-day! Unfortunately, with each passing second, I don’t seem to noticeably grow any wiser, my humbleness doesn’t get any more apparent, I don’t display any additional tolerance, and I don’t find any additional successes in those short moments. All of those attributes, and GIFTS OF AGE (as I shall call them), take time! Luckily, it doesn’t take a LIFETIME! But it does take an ADVANCED STAGE OF LIFE to achieve, or continue to gain those gifts of age! As some get older, they shun their age. They don’t look to the future, they look back on the past. I feel that I had a great life in the past. I enjoyed my early youth (hey, I think I am still in my youth)! But in order to truly gain and appreciate the gifts of age, you have to embrace it. And with that, I EMBRACE MY AGE.

… to be continued on http://blog.AskWillieStylez.com

Will

Forty One Years To Life ... T. NG

I constantly think about aging as I get closer to the big 3-0. Am I where I had hoped to be? Did I do all the things that my “little girl” had hoped we'd do? How far am I to achieving those goals and getting those 'things" that I had always wanted. I consult with my inner child on the daily, perhaps it's because I am childless, a little on the crazy side or simply because aging to me is really about connecting the dots, than it is about wrinkled skin. When the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button came out I dragged my little sister to go see it. Enthralled by the movie's juxtaposed story line of aging and maturity, I had never related to a movie like that before. I was a child who spent a lot of time praying for adulthood and a way out. I was timid, quiet and mischievous. My self-esteem was comparable to tarnished silverware on the bottom of the titanic and I never felt comfortable being me.As I age I feel myself getting younger and care free, just Like Benjamin. I laugh off criticism lost souls share with me and forget about it the next day. I hug and give well wishes to enemies and I love playing even more than when I was a little girl. I love getting my hair wet in the rain, singing love songs and not worrying about being perfect. I’m excited about thirty because I’m going in as a woman who loves works and plays hard. You are always more blessed and beautiful than you think you are.

T. NG

Forty One Years To Life ... Ms.Nikks

Ms.Nikks

Live It Up

Aging, that is a terrifying word to many people, I never considered myself one of those people. I’ve always looked forward to aging, but that changed when I past 25. I remember a weekend of watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I was left feeling extremely sad and paranoid. It didn’t help that immediately after that viewing I decided to watch for the first time Driving Miss Daisy, what a weekend!

I thought what’s the point of living if all you do is become shriveled up and delusional in the end? My mind completely blocked out all the good things, the adventures, the marriages, the births, the joy, laughter, love affairs, loving, all the living the characters did in those movies. I had to check myself before I wrecked myself, I allowed myself to remember that there’s so much in-between birth and death. So much living to be done and I got back to the place I was before turning 25. People like your mother, Ms. Nona, and her thoughts and feelings towards aging is a big comfort to me. I no longer have a fear of what’s going to happen to me. Spoiler alert...you die, but there’s a lot of living in-between, so here's to you with lots of e-doration B. Tram!

“Oh live it up

We can go crazy

Live it up

You and me baby

Live it up, live it up, live it up”

-J. Legend “Live It Up”

Forty One Years To Life ... Cynt.

The older I get, the more aware I am of the inevitability of death. Or....the value of life. When I was younger, I had this romanticized notion of death. Of dying of old age, surrounded by generations of loved ones. Of having achieved every goal and dream and dying simply because there was nothing left to do. And everyone died this way. Now, of course, I wish I paid more attention to the lives around me, and the reality that death is. My grandparents are all gone, as well as my mother and several others. I would give anything to have just one good conversation with any of them. I have always been interested in listening to other's life stories, but lately, have been asking more questions, and being more open to sharing my own experiences. This happiness/pain/love/loss/success/failure...this...life that we all have is to be shared with each other. This is how we achieve that sense of immortality. We share with others, and they remember us and hopefully, share with others. The older I get, the more I realize that there will come a point where I... we.. will age no more. But we can still live on.

Forty One Years To Life ... D. Dorce

D. Dorce

At first i didn't know how to reply to this...and then i thought of the most wonderful wish i could have on my birthday...this year or the years coming would be to finally meet and greet the love of my life. See i have had many loves, but not so many...i can count them on one hand, but i find myself envisioning that "one" in a very special way. A way i haven't felt in a long time. I dream of him and i'm almost sure i would know him instantly when we met. My goals in life have been almost fulfilled. I have raised my immediate family and have given them all the encouragement and love i can give and i am happy at the outcome. For my future. i would like to have a life partner, a love of my life to share this blissful ending and new beginning with. As i reach another year i can only feel closer to achieving those goals, that aspect in my life of fulfillment, of achieving, of finally resting on that i am who i was meant to be and more, and able to share that with someone special. So this birthday, like the next will be anticipating "that moment". Happy Birthday to my dear Virtual Friend...hope it is all you intended, and more.

Forty One Years To Life ... L. Delli Santi

“If these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in. And that’s what I guess these stories are about”

Junot Diaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

My thoughts on birthdays is that, as a society, we tend to categorize and mark our lives in milestones of ten year increments, each passing year a stepping stone to the next big hurdle, which will then denote who we are because of the number attached to our being. What is really important, and often overlooked in the grand scheme, is that your past and the obstacles that were hurdled will always be a beautiful part of you. The experiences you have had make you the person you are and the person you hope to be in the future. So when things are bad, you are learning and growing. When things are good, you have put your knowledge into play. Life is cyclical; every moment is just as important as the next.  You cannot run away from your past, or who you are/have become.  Life is a collection of stories that represent a time and place that we can never go back to.

L. Delli-Santi

Forty One Years To Life ... A. Waters

My life

I, like many others my age, am trying to apply the breaks as I skid into turning 40 in less than 6 months. Why am I so afraid to reach that milestone? In this day and age it should be an accomplishment, a luxury, a badge of honor yet I treat it like a tooth ache, the plague, a death sentence,  like I'm doomed. Why you ask? Because when I was younger- 40 meant you were married ( happily, optional), loving family, a promising career, financially set, and had all the stability you could stand. I have missed the mark in ALL those categories. Yet I get up each morning, by the grace of God and I try life again, most days willingly and other days forced.  I have always been a late bloomer and i am just now realizing what it means to say that this life of mine is not a dress rehearsal. It's not promised.  It's not even conditionally guaranteed.  And everything you have can be stripped from you in the blink of an eye. So my new stance on life is this: LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, and make yourself happy, regardless of your age. Man up or put on your big girl panties (whichever applies) and live with NO more regrets. 40 is my new 30.

Dear Yvette

He Wrote She Wrote ... The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

"It’s never the changes we want that change everything."

Forty One Years To Life ... Aging BlaQ

Aging BlaQ: Shriveling Ovaries: The New Mating Call

I'm a believer in animal instinct. I believe that as humans we were all born with innate responses and reactions to people and situations. Most of the time, we can't quite put our finger on why this response happens, but if we go with our instinct, we can all rest assured that we'll end up on the good side of that particular situation.

Lately, since I've turned 30, I've had conversations with men about life/love/& the pursuit of the draws. I could try to explain them, but there's no explaining this isht!

Example #1

Rick Ross

Him: "Do you want kids some day?"

Kari

Me: "Maybe. I definitely want the option."

Rick Ross

Him: "Well let me know when I can give a donation."

Kari

Me: "A donation?"

Rick Ross

Him: "Yeah, if you want kids, I can donate to the cause."

---silence---

Kari

Me: "Well, I appreciate the offer, but I'm gon' have to pass on that one."

Rick Ross

Him: "Oh, no problem. I try to help when I can." 

Example #2

Corporate Thug

Him: "So how did your interview go?"

Kari

Me: "I think it went well - they seemed impressed."

Corporate Thug

Him: "Well, congratulations are in order!"

Kari

Me: "Why? That was just the first interview. I don't know if I made the 2nd round."

Corporate Thug

Him: "You said they were impressed."

Kari

Me: "Yeah."

Corporate Thug

Him: "I'm just saying. If I'm grooming you to have my babies in a couple of years. I want to make sure you get a job you like."

Kari

Me: "What the fck, man?"

Corporate Thug

Him: "Oh, sorry."

Now, instinct has CLEARLY ruled on both of these individuals. But I'm not here to talk about my instinct, I'm here to talk about male instinct.

Where am I going with this? Walk with me, please...

The one thing that I was never able to adequately explain to my male friends is the dire situation and vulnerable state a childless, single woman finds herself at the age of 30+. Maybe if I used the words "mental and physical anguish", that would better describe how 30 signifies the beginning of the end for some women. Granted, I don't want to be pregnant; nor am I scheming to poke holes in condoms to get a baby... And no, playboy, I am not accepting donations for your illegitimate kids that you have no intention of raising... But I do hear the faint shriveling of my ovaries and eggs (it sounds like a crumbled up paper bag) along with the tick-tock of the old biological clock. The clock is loud but the shriveling isn't. The shriveling makes me sad... I digress.

As the last of my friends turn the big 3-0, it has been quite interesting to see how they have dealt with the pressure. One vowed to give up her bi-sexual lifestyle for the promise of kids and a husband with her ex-con ex-boyfriend (a sure catch). One vowed to keep the punani under wraps until the engagement ring pulls those dusty panties down. Still another gave up all her side-dudes to wait for the Lord to send her the soul-mate she was promised (ok, that was me). Yet, we all have come to our senses (somewhat) and realized that life does not end at 30.

So, I say all that to say this... I believe that men are capable of hearing the shriveling of eggs spoiling and ovaries singing the fat-lady blues. I don't know that it looks like desperation or the wave of a white flag on the battlefield, but I do believe that they know when we are ready to have babies. Now, you will most definitely have to weed through the people who make plans for your uterus without you (see example #2), but instinct should help with all that.

Something happened on the way to 30

Weight Watchers called "We have the solution"

Something happened on the way to 30

The switch in my hips turned into a limp

Something happened on the way to 30

The pretty complexion became mole central

(Party up in here! Moles stay #winning!)

Something happened on the way to 30

Afternoons spent thinking "Did I take my medication?"

Something happened on the way to 40

I finally stopped caring about my age...

The End. Happy Birthday, Brian. :-)

Kari

He Said, She Said … The Blog World

 “I feel the blog world has changed and become a little too impersonal at times.” - Ms. Nikks