The Beauty of the Back Porch
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It’s not quite inside, not quite out. It’s a place where shoes come off, but not always. Where conversations trail off, not because they’re over, but because they’ve landed somewhere soft…
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That First Sip of Water After a Long Walk
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One of my favorite hikes is the seven-mile loop around Salem Lake in Winston-Salem. The trail offers good elevation, but it’s more of a moderate walk; gravel paths, inclines, and beautiful views. Whether I’m on the treadmill at my home gym, running on the outdoor track at the Y, or hiking at Freedom Park, I prefer to work out fasted and only drink water after my session. The same holds true for my hike around Salem Lake. I don’t weigh myself down with a water bottle or a “fanny pack” filled with keys, phones, and other things. I simply power through, focusing on the task, until I reach the finish line…
Read MoreRandom Observation #30,556,697,899
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One of the things I appreciate about working at the Y is connecting with people. Now, the two of you reading my blog know me, and you’re probably side-eyeing that statement because you know I do not like people. But every now and then, I come across some genuinely cool folks…
Read MoreWednesday Morning Sensory Inputs
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The Feeling of Being Liked
Some things you just know. The crispness in the air before a storm, the way the sky turns that particular shade of heavy blue. The scent of rain before it arrives, petrichor rising from the earth like an offering. The sound of tires slicing through puddles, a promise of temporary chaos. The way cold water shocks the skin before settling into something familiar.
And then, there’s knowing when someone genuinely likes you.
Read MoreReflections on Cultural Criticism and Authenticity
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I unmuted Kendrick, Lamar, Drake, NFL, and Super Bowl and now I see why I muted them in the first place.
Many of you are deep in confirmation bias,
the tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms your pre-existing beliefs while dismissing evidence that challenges them
This has become particularly evident in the ongoing discourse around certain artists.
THE EVOLUTION OF A DISCOURSE
& I've found myself increasingly troubled by the intensity of criticism directed at Drake, particularly in the context of this recent "rap battle" with Kendrick Lamar. What started as typical rivalry evolved into something far more complex; a referendum on cultural authenticity, racial identity, and the unspoken rules of belonging.
Read MoreRandom Observation #20,236,569,523
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Lately, I’ve been thinking about how wildly different my life looks compared to five years ago. And not just in the “time flies” kind of way but in the “words have power, and apparently, they’ve been working overtime” kind of way…
Read MoreTop Things I’d Write About, But I’m Tired
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On Reflections of Cultural Criticism and Authenticity
I could write about why I muted Kendrick Lamar, Drake, the NFL, and the Super Bowl and what it means to unmute them. Many people are deep in confirmation bias;
The tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms your pre-existing beliefs while dismissing evidence that challenges them.
Read MoreThe Professor
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If the third-grade teacher in the Honda Accord is the foundation, then the professor is the evolution. Someone who takes what is simple and gives it depth, who refines knowledge into wisdom. She is the kind of person who doesn’t just read the world but interprets it, who knows that the right question is often more valuable than the right answer…
Read MoreManifesting the Third-Grade Teacher Who Drives a Honda Accord
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During a session not too long ago, my therapist, after listening to me stumble through an attempt to articulate what I value in a partner, stopped me mid-sentence.
“You need a third-grade teacher who drives a Honda Accord,” she said, dead ass…
Read MoreListen With Your Ears And Not Your Mouf'
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My son, not-so-little Brian, is a sophomore in school and has shared concerns about the current state of affairs in these un-United States. He worries about how current policies will affect his ability to find meaningful work. I initially minimized his concerns by advising him to keep his head down and finish school. He will always have a place "at home," and he won't have the burden of student loan debt because The Tramuel (formerly known as) and I have covered his tuition. But his concerns are still valid, and it's important to listen and empathize…
Read MoreSaturday Morning Sensory Inputs
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Seven miles around Salem Lake. No earphones, just foot strikes and…
The path ahead twists and turns, revealing the distant main entrance as I weave my way around the lake. Bare trees stand like sentinels, their fallen leaves creating a mosaic on the ground. The water is neither still nor restless; just moving, like me…
Read MoreRandom Observations About Nothing #10,568,943
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Life has a way of delivering its insights through the most random moments... a quick glance, a passing comment, or even the way someone approaches you at work. Lately, I've been reflecting on a few of these types of observations, and I can't help but notice how they overlap with larger themes about connection, perception, and grace…
Read MoreSunday Afternoon Sensory Inputs
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The cold finds its way to the glass, pressing itself against the warmth inside. The couch cradles me, its fabric soft and unassuming, while my book rests against my chest—words both heavy and light. A lemon candle flickers, casting soft citrus notes into the air, sharp and sweet like a whispered memory.
Read MoreThe Weight of Staying Connected
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I’ve often told myself that “you are not responsible for someone else’s feelings, only for how you advise them of your disinterest.” It’s a principle rooted in fairness and boundaries—a way to navigate relationships without leading anyone on or offering false promises. And in theory, it’s a reasonable and honest approach. But in practice, it feels much messier…
Read MoreWhat Else Are Women For?
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The line between autonomy and external influence is often blurred, making the conversation about aesthetics far more complex than it first appears…
Read MoreThe Unreality of Real
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As I scroll through Threads, I’m intentional about what I interact with- liking posts that resonate with me without any expectation of a like or comment in return. I’m equally purposeful with my comments, avoiding engagement-bait questions or interactions with people who don’t seem genuinely interested in dialogue. More often than not, I use journaling or my blog to work through my thoughts in depth…
Read MoreAuthentic, Balanced, and Rooted
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Social media often reduces us to curated moments, leading to misunderstandings about our values and interests. True connection comes from understanding the underlying reasons behind our choices, not just from surface-level observations. In a world full of noise, feeling truly understood is more meaningful than just being seen…
Read MoreBeing Highly Aware Leads to Isolation and Solitude
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Well actually, the Virgo will overanalyze, and then conversations become layered with unspoken truths, societal systems reveal their flaws, and the little quirks of human behavior that once seemed charming now feel like rehearsed performances. It’s not that others are shallow, my point of view has 20/5 vision, and I can’t unsee what I’ve seen…
Read MoreMy Super Villain Arc
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The Reclamation Artist
The two of you reading this know me well enough to understand that I’m not becoming an actual villain. I’m not abandoning my decency or planning to treat others poorly. What this means is that I’m done prioritizing the feelings, boundaries, and needs of others at the expense of my own…
Read MoreSquare Box. Round Pizza. Triangle Slices.
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When I began to prioritize my health, all of the healths: emotional, social, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, intellectual, and my favorite sexual... I noticed that some people started to fill in the blanks with their ass umptions and narratives. & by some people, I mean women, some would "Lol, I'm just serious" me to death, referring to my structured lifestyle as having a team, suggesting I'm juggling multiple situationships. The reality? I'm just at home, focused on my goals, in bed by 8 in the PMs…
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