Amnesia and DeJa’Vu

Amnesia and DeJa’Vu

“I want you to be happy.”

I’m experiencing amnesia and DeJa’Vu at the same time. I think I’ve written about this before.

Feeling happy for a friend who has prospered, a family member buying a new home, or your kids delighting in your grandchild learning how to walk. I discovered a new concept…

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Independently Dependent - J. Immanuel

Independently Dependent - J. Immanuel

I think this is a load of crap...

There’s been so much talk lately about what men and women bring to the table.

I’m sure you’ve heard it…unless you’ve been living under a rock somewhere.

I don’t understand why men and women are going to war over something so trivial.

As a woman of faith, I’m sure you know that you’re not a table…

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The Top Five Boos of All Time

The Top Five Boos of All Time

Back in the days when I was a teenager. Before I had status and before I had a pager. You could find the Abstract listening to hip hop. My pops used to say, it reminded him of be-bop. I said, well daddy don't you know that things go in cycles. The way that Bobby Brown is just ampin like Michael. It's all expected, things are for the lookin. If you got the money, Quest is for the bookin’

Things do go in cycles. Summer is coming and I’m reminded of the top five boos of all time…

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Emotional Calisthenics

Emotional Calisthenics

First, they love you, then they hate you, then they love you again.

Then they spin the block, but always on some passive-agress-her terms masked as humor.

Received a text message at one-thirty ante meridian— a meme using the guy tapping his finger on his head, having just thought of something. He’s figured out a way to avoid his problems, and is passing it along to you as a genius strategy…

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Life Changes - Lisa

Life Changes - Lisa

The loneliness hits in waves that never last for long, just long enough to remind me of what I'm missing. But am I really missing anything or anyone or am I just bored? Was I just looking for someone to fill a void I was perfectly capable of filling myself?

My guy died about nine months before the world shut down for Covid. I was in no rush to start a new relationship and lockdown gave me the perfect excuse. The pandemic gave me two years to entertain the idea of a relationship while flirting with men I had no intention of meeting. Dating apps are not for the faint of heart and AOL dating is the worst.

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InfoGraphic The 10.15.11 Theory

It’s been one year, two months, four days, three hours, sixteen minutes and forty-five seconds since my last relationship. I don’t believe I have an internal mourning period but there always seems to be a gap of a year before I roll the dice. I AmI Am … great at giving advice when it comes to matters of the heart. I believe that …

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In RE:Trospect

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We’ve all been there; an event, a place or someone sharing a few choice words, they cause us to re:play the occurrence over & over in our heads. First thought always starts similar to this "I wish I would have responded ..." That thought never goes away. I believe we store it in our mental Rolodex so that we are able to draw on that experience in the event we find ourselves in the exact same place.This might be too much information for ya'll but it is relevant to my story. It's been a long time since I had a strong beat to step to. It started as a lack of opportunity for a dance partner who appreciated my rhythm, it has now shifted to improving my position and improving my routine before committing to a new partner. The last ten years have provided a strong beat to step to simply by turning over and giving that inviting tap & uttering those famous words "Baby? You sleep?" ... the shake & wake is no longer an option as Mr.TramueL is no longer a plus one. Music evolves over time but there is always one constant, it always provides a strong beat to step to, when the music stops you can only imagine the withdrawal your body has; lucid dreaming, thinking about dancing every two minutes and considering dance partners you would never imagine doing the two-step with. Next your mind takes you back and you start to re:member every possible dance partner you've had, wish you could have shared an experience with and then Boom! You start to visibly remember being asked to dance but didn't realize someone was trying to practice their dance moves, wanting you to elevate their  feet in the air above your shoulders. This is where the phrase dancing on air gains its meaning & ya’ll know Mr.TramueL loves some feet. Judge me. That would have been a performance  neither one of us would have forgotten. I Am Mr.TramueL, get like me.

re:trospect

Mr.TramueL and The TramueL Formerly Known As have been separated for a year, coincidentally almost the same length of time I've been without a dance hall queen. I've always connected with women easily, you know the BIG brother type scenario, cool to talk with, opining about life, all of it's ironic twist and how they may sometimes startle us.Side Note: I would hit. Where were we? Oh! ... I have a few girls that are friends. Platonic. So the connection I shared with "she" <--- We will use this in place of her name to protect the innocent and also me in case she ever reads my Blog. “She” and I had that type of relationship, I had been out of the game for almost 14 years so I didn’t know how to approach women or much less decipher if what "she" wanted from me involved more than talking on the phone, visiting each other or hanging out, it was all relative. I assumed she was being friendly and helping me through some things and I afforded her an opportunity as a willing conduit into the world of men.

the:chase

She: "Hey? What are you doing around five? I'm on your side of town & I thought I would stop by."

Me: "Not nothing, cool. I'm here."

She: "You have anything to drink?"

Me: "H2O & some Hi-C Fruit Punch"

She: "Boy, you so crazy! I'm talking about a real drink."

Me: "Oh, yeah I have some Vodka"

She: "Oh, okay. I really need a drink."

Me: "See you in a few"

the:scene

I'm chilling in the bedroom watching T.V. I know this seems player, however there was only one t.v. & it was in my bedroom she is sitting in a chair across from me. I'm totally oblivious to all of the signs she is displaying It is only in retrospect that I’m able to visibly replay & understand what was going on She takes her shoes off and complains about how much her feet hurt1 obvious that she wanted me to rub her feet she is looking at me like Brian if you don’t turn off that t.v., get off the bed and come get on me. I thought she was buzzed Then “she” begins to talk about dancing and things she’s never experienced, a bucket list of moves and routines no one has ever brought that level of movement to or out of her. Ding, ding, ding! Dude? Seriously? Me being naïve, I go into my spill about being passionate and demonstrative in dance, gave her all of the astrological associations of Virgo’s and dancing.

Blank stare. Blink. Blink.

the:end

I walked her to her car and she said good night.

“She” I didn’t know! Listen, listen, listen! If you’re ever on my side of town again …

Mr. “Sex is Fire, Celibacy is Water. Both can Purify” TramueL

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