According to popular opinion, I should be married, have children, be a homeowner and climbing the corporate ladder as a man in my 30s.
In reality:
I’m single
I have no children
I still rent
And I chucked the deuce to the corporate life almost a decade ago
Read MoreSo, Tram asked us to decide on a topic that described what we felt was society’s expectations of us, as we got to our Big Ages! However, not being one to allow society to dictate aspects of my life, I decided to write something a little bit… different. I don't quite recall my thought process 11 years ago when I first wrote for this series. But what I do know is that I did have expectations of what my life may look like, over a decade from then! As I maneuvered through life over those many, many years, a lot has changed. I've done things, seen things, and been through things that I definitely did not expect! I've discovered parts of me, and parts of my personality, that I didn't even know were there!
Read MoreHey younger Cleo,
This is you from 2022. You don’t know this yet, but you are in for an emotional rollercoaster. There will be times when you question yourself, God, life, family, and your career but you will make it through a tougher cookie. The road will not be easy and the scars will take years to heal. In the end, you will know that all good and bad things will come to an end. When you are my age, you will understand. When you turn 20, you will meet someone who will be by your side through all this fuck shit. I will not give much away regarding the relationship.
Just be patient.
Read MoreI’ll never be enough, I’m worried, I’m infertile, I’m my own worst enemy, I’m scared everyone will know. These have been my morning mantras since I was diagnosed with an endocrine disorder 21 years ago that doctors had little to no research on. My prognosis, or at least how I heard it, you’ll never be good enough to fit the norms of society and enjoy the depression, anxiety, and infertility that come along with this diagnosis, amongst other health ailments that are other fun side effects.
Read MoreSo… I have written something for this exactly 12 times since my longtime friend, the illustrious Mr. Tramuel, graciously extended an invitation to participate. The previous 12 all have found the virtual circular file (or was it rectangular), and here I sit reliving my college experience of writing a paper the night before it is due. I was ecstatic about the invite, and I thought of the many ways that I could expound on the subject. Seeing that I am 52 but looking like a spry 51-year-old I thought that I could extol on my great escape from the grips of father time and how my way of life should be the blueprint for making it to the ripe old age of Methuselah. However, a quick visit to the mirror reminded me that I hadn’t escaped from father time unscathed. The gray in my beard and the spare tire quickly brought me back from my bourbon-induced hallucination and planted my feet firmly back into reality. It was very good bourbon though.
Read MoreMost of my friends and colleagues have gotten married, had children, and their children are starting families while I have only been married once no children, and living a single life. The expectations of life not just socially but in most of our minds are to have a sustaining career, a loving family, and look forward to an empty nest where grandchildren come and bring life to a quiet living space. We are expected to be living comfortably and swearing at the mailman or bank if the retirement check is late.
Read MoreI wish someone would have told me that adulting is complete BS. I would love to go back to high school days, or even my college years, where I had no responsibilities, was broke as hell, but yet still managed to travel, enjoy fine dining, and just have more free time to enjoy life. I am currently in my early 30s, SINGLE AF and FNF, and just getting started in my field of study, and when I say I have no life. I LITERALLY have no life. When I’m not at work, I’m at home, mainly sleeping or catching up on my “programs” like the old lady I am, and when I’m not home I’m working my ass off only to be living paycheck to paycheck…
Read MoreLIFE CHANGES,
As Do Titles and Roles
As a single, motherless woman in the prime of life, with 19 nieces & nephews, and 8 grand-nieces & nephews – there’s a role that I have grown into amongst my Calvo Clan – that of “Auntie Nicci, The Cool Aunt”.
Trust me when I tell you that I never took myself for the one person that all my siblings’ children gravitate toward. To be frank, I’m not particularly nurturing or motherly or sweet, but for whatever reason these younger generations ask frequently to sleepover or hangout or have a bbq or have poker nights at my house at least twice a month.
Read MoreThe illustrious Mr. Tramuel has been a fairly long time Twitter connection of mine. We've both enjoyed our online interactions with each other over the years but what I remember most about those interactions is centered around our physical fitness journey - specifically us both using a fitness tracking app called Gyroscope
Read MoreHuman nature wants recognition. It wants admiration for good deeds. But grace hides its good works and private devotion and gives all praise to God. Such grace is a heavenly light, a gift from God. It is the mark of a truly spiritual person. As nature is restrained, grace increases and the soul becomes stamped with the image of God.
- A profound reinterpretation of the writings of Thomas à Kempis, by Bernard Bangley
Read MoreIn September two thousand eleven I turned 41 and started a writing project where I asked family and friends to share their stories of growing old. A creative way to celebrate my birthday turned into an awe-inspiring display on their attitude towards life. I repeated the project in two thousand fourteen. I am back in two thousand twenty two for a third installment.
Read MoreAs sudden and tragic as death always is, the daily functions of life must go on.
… And sometimes we feel guilty for laughing and having a good time, but I hope you know she would want you to enjoy your life and wouldn’t want to be the source of your sadness
- Nikks
I Am grateful for the loved ones in my life. My family and friends— inclusive of those on digital lists, they have all been a great source of comfort. The beauty is the lesson grief teaches us, we cannot rely on ourselves we need others.
Read MoreMy mother passed on Monday, September 05, 2022.
I don’t write for circumstances, but solace from them.
Grief came to me, my family, and her friends like a vicious knife; sudden, terrifying, painful, and penetrating— Creating wounds that will take a very long time to heal. Grief is an intense emotion, all encompassing of the different pain and sorrow we feel after a heavy personal loss. Degrees of emotion vary from person to person and almost always runs the same course…
Read MoreI went to see Don ‘D.C.’ Curry Saturday with NOVA. Sitting next to her, a woman a year older than me who looks better than a twenty-five year old — this isn’t subjective, she takes care of herself physically, mentally, and spiritually. In contrast I watched a man ten years older walk out on stage, semi-assisted, to a stool to sit in while he performed his set.
I Am reminded of the impermanence of life.
Read MoreAdopt a new perspective.
Right now it's easy to feel a sense of oneness with everyone around you. It's the result of an internal recalibration, rather than an external one. It doesn't have to be defined right now.
The title is pulled directly from my Co-Star Astrology daily update. We all have choices, and one of the largest benefits of astrology is the ability to understand ourselves better beyond for entertainment purposes only.
Read MoreSomeone asked me the other day if I were happy. In context I understand why. In a social media world of happiness theater, competition on happiness and not real happiness, but who could display it best online. I believe they genuinely wanted to know. especially seeing the changes in my life in real time over the past two years.
“Saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy”
Read MoreAn article published on Psychology Today was repeatedly shared (by women) across all of my social media and I read it with (dis) interest, if pick me was a person it would be the author of this post.
“Falling in love” implies a descension, also a bit of risk, too. When we fall it is generally associated with something negative happening to us. I tripped and fell inside of a woman I just met and now she is carrying my baby. Bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good. In the curious case of falling in love however, we tend to glamorize and adore the fall.
Read MoreI have been trying to write this for a week and a half with no real understanding of what I’m trying to say – There have been four deaths announced to me during that time; co-workers, family of close friends, and classmates.
Mastering fear & anxiety, I’ve learned how to respond to news of death by being open, honest and sincere.
Read MoreI've had so many conversations with my single, dating and married friends about relationships that if I had a dollar for each one…
Y’all know the rest.
Read More
